Unfortunately I was unable to attend the Academic Awards this week due to the 5th grade NYC trip - but I was at the Top 10 Dinner last night - and it was an amazing night as usual. Seeing how much these young adults have accomplished is incredible. For me even more so this year - these are my son's classmates and friends - so I have known many of them since kindergarden (and some even earlier - I've got some great shots and stories of Ryan and Darien as babies!).
Every year that I attend this dinner, I come away learning something - and last night it was a really big lesson. A few years back Roxbury stopped giving letter grades to children through grade 5. At the time, I wasn't quite sure I agreed with it, and I still hear many parents complain about it. Last night - when listening to one of the boys talk about the teacher he chose to bring with him, I realized that this was the right decision.
Many of the students talked about their fear of being a failure - that getting a low grade on one test was enough to send them to tears. One student talked about how making a mistake in a chem class could make her feel worthless. Another talked of taking his summer reading test and bursting into tears when he realized he didn't fill in the back of the sheet - and therefore did very poorly. These are kids that are getting amazing grades in incredily difficult classes, but they are still so concerned with that number on the paper - enough to make them feel good or bad about themselves. One young man talked about the teacher he brought with him - and how her greatest gift to him was teaching him to "look past the grade". To focus on the learning, not on the grade that went with it. And by doing that - focusing on the learning - the grade naturally fell into place - without the stress. Our younger children need to do the same thing - focus on the learning and not on the grade, without the stress, and everything will fall into place.
It is amazing what you can learn from a teenager...
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