Code of Conduct

There has been so much controversy over the revised code of conduct, that I wanted to address it with my personal thoughts. Let me start off by saying that the revised code of conduct is not any different than last year when referring to out of school behavior, it is just more consistent with the student handbook. There are a few different things I would like to address:

1. My change of heart on voting.
Contrary to what some people believe, I did not "wimp" out. My only concern with the code of conduct is that sports/activities in the fall season are based on the final grade for the previous year, while other seasons are based on a marking period grade. It is a difficult problem to solve - at what point do you consider a child in good academic standing? I don't have a solution - if we drop the fall season down to the 4th marking period grade and the child has failed for the full year - does that make it ok to play? Since I couldn't offer a solution right there to be incorporated, but I did receive assurances that this issue would be addressed as the code continues to be revised, I was content enough to vote yes.

2. The basis of the code - that it is in effect 365 days per year.
When my son was starting his freshman year, a well intentioned senior on the soccer team gave him some advice - nothing good ever happens in a bathroom, so do what you have to do and get out. My first thought - he had a senior with his head on straight looking out for him - we were off to a good start at HS! I felt comfortable knowing he had put himself in the midst of smart kids that would be good role models for him.
Now fast forward in my imagination to 2010 when my daughter will become a freshman. She is a freshman, and becomes friends with a senior. They become "friends" on facebook. I go through my daughter's page (I allow them to have facebook because I have the ability to log in to their accounts), and I come across this new senior friend. Looking at the facebook page of this senior, I see pictures of her at a summer party holding a beer can. As a parent, what do I do??? I know when it comes to school this girl is praised as being someone for the other girls to look up to, maybe she is even a peer leader. Is this what I want my daughter looking up to?? Is this her role model?? I don't know about you - but I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

Let's look at this realistically. The behavior being done is illegal. Yes, it is not during a time when school should be involved, but it is still a reflection on their ability to represent the school. The sanctions being imposed are a 2 week suspension from an activity. An activity that is a privilege, not a right. My children know I am their friend and advocate - but first I am their parent. I have tried hard to teach them that there are consequences for their actions, and there will come a time when I am not able to "fix" something for them and make it all ok. One of these times is in relation to alcohol and drugs. My son once told me that he doesn't stay out of trouble because he is afraid of me, he stays out of trouble because he doesn't want to mess up his life. I don't think I was ever so proud of him.

Children need to understand there are consequences to their actions - and the older they get the more severe the consequences - and also that these consequences will be handed out by many other than their parents. Let them learn this while the penalty is missing a game or activity - it is better than learning this when they are fired from a job or reprimanded in college.